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Final Words

DON'T LET IT GET TO YOU!
(For Pastors Wives)

Have you ever felt overwhelmed by being a pastor's wife? You know how it is, trying to juggle your role as wife and mother, along with ministering to all the ladies at church who look to you for all the answers to their problems. So many expectations from so many people; so much to do, and not enough time or energy to do it in.

You're not alone with those feelings; I've dealt with them too. I remember the times I cried out tot the Lord to send me some answers. I just couldn't continue the same way any longer. I asked the Lord what was wrong with me, what was my problem? I knew that the Bible clearly states that His burden is light and His yoke is easy. If that's so, then why didn't it feel easy to me?

We are usually left with the choice of openly admitting that something is wrong with our spiritual lives, or we wear a mask, and pretend that we're blessed, satisfied, and understand the Christian walk. After all, if we admit our failings, what will others think of us?

Because we know that God is faithful, true and just, then we realize the problem must be somehow related to us. So, we make a mental list, and go through all the possible things we can think of, looking for where the problem is. Maybe I should phone some other pastor's wife for advice… or, I could fast for a day or two (except during the holidays)… perhaps this calls for spiritual warfare… or, maybe even deliverance… can I just ignore it for a while and be quiet about it… remember, we all have hormonal ups and downs…

Typically, to avoid facing the stress, and our own failings, we all pretend everything is going great. To do this, we choose to narrow our focus onto one of our problems at a time, working to resolve that. Everything else is ignored, and can fall apart, but that one thing is taken care of and we are able to act like everything is okay.

The church world of today wants to simplify our life and problems into three simple steps. Step one: identify the problem. Step two: fix the problem (everyone knows that pastors and their wives know how to do this, so this should be the easy part). Step three: rejoice in the results and get closer to our Lord and Savior. Only, it doesn't always work that easily… especially if we're not sure what the problem is… and, where did that idea come from that we had all the answers anyway?

Wouldn't it be awesome to somehow get rid of the stress of all this weight? Well, you can, if you want to badly enough!

The deception we run into is this: Who's "really" in charge of our lives? Who's ministry are we working in? Are we asking God to bless our plans, or are we asking God what His plans are? If we're doing our work and out ministry, we're in trouble. But, if we're allowing the Lord to do His work and ministry through us, then we're in a position to allow Him to carry the load.

I knew I had somehow missed God's best when I found I was struggling for years with the same issues over and over again. However, one night the Holy Spirit woke me up, and gave me a golden nugget of insight that I'll never forget. He told me His solution to any mess, a catalyst that will fix any problem. He told me what I needed in order to go on.

Are you ready? Would you like the same golden nugget to use in your life?

Get in His presence and
Have an Intimate Relationship With Him

True intimacy is the best stress buster in the universe. Put your priorities in order, give God His rightful place, make Him your first love, allow Him to care for you as His bride. Let Him take those pressures and problems. When you live in His presence, the stresses and messes will have to go.

So, how do we approach Him? How to we get into His presence?

We Pentecostals and Charismatics typically abuse the law, and overdue the grace issue. Our attitude is usually, "How much can I get away with?" Or, "What is the minimum I have to do to squeeze into heaven?"

This is the wrong attitude. Our stress and problems won't go away as long as we act that way. Instead, we need to seek how close we can get to our Lord, how much time we can spend in His presence, and how can we best express our love to Him?

Here are the steps I use to enter into the Lord's presence and have the intimacy I need with Him:

1. Go to a quiet place where you and God can be alone with no distractions or interruptions.

Many women prefer doing this before their spouse and their children wake up. This doesn't work well for me because I'm a night owl, and many nights we get back to our motorhome about 1 A.M. after ministering in Mexico. So instead, sometimes I ask the Lord to wake me in the middle of the night, so that we can have our special time together. Other times, I walk or get on my bike with headphones and listen to a tape of my favorite worship songs. I am quite clear to tell our children that Mommy must be alone with God for at least 30-60 minutes. They know now that I'm much more joyful mom when I get filled up first. Otherwise I can't do a good job meeting their needs that day, nor the needs of my husband. And we all know that a woman sets the emotional atmosphere of a home.

2. Put on some special anointed music tape.

Carefully choose what you will listen to. This will make it easier to shut out the world around you, to more fully concentrate on your intimacy with our Lord. Ideally, ask the Lord which tape He wants for this particular time.

Most praise and worship tapes contain a mixture of several styles. Some of these help us enter in better than others. To avoid having to listen to several songs that are more "Christian entertainment" than true worship, do this: Go through your music collection (at home and at church) and prayerfully choose the best 10 to 20 deep worship songs (themes like holiness, fire, the holy of holies, glory) and make one tape or CD of these for your own personal use. This should give you about one hour of continual background music to use in your quiet time.

3. Respond to Him.

Listen to the words in the music. Sing along. Add your own words. Respond to Him as you'd do if He were there with you in the flesh. Close your eyes. Love Him.

And he hath put a new song in my mouth...(some call this a song of the Lord, spontaneous song...)

Ps 40:3

Sing unto him a new song...

Ps 144:9; Ps 149:1; Isa 42:10; Ps 96:1; Ps:98:1; Ps:33:3

And they sung as it were a new song before the throne...

Rv 14:3

...I will lead them in paths that they have not known

Isa 42:16

…in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.

Col 3:16

..."the song of the LORD began" ( Just as Hezekiah cleansed and sanctified the temple and brought out its uncleanliness, so too God wishes to cleanse us of the wounds of our past. This is commonly called "inner healing")

2 Chron 29: 27

The bible speaks of three basic types of songs: psalms (which use bible verses), hymns (pre-thought out and practiced compositions), and spiritual songs (spontaneous songs the Holy Spirit us). He gives us spiritual songs these to accomplish His will at that moment. They can be birthed in English, another language, or our heavenly language; some are sung, others are played on an instrument. There have been times in corporate worship where I've seen the worship team flow together in a new song; being sung in two directions: God singing to them, and them responding to what He just said.

Ruth Helfin, who wrote many books about the glory of God said, "Praise until the spirit of worship comes, then worship till the glory comes, then stand in His glory. How long does that take? It takes until the Lord is satisfied.

4. Take time to be quiet and listen to Him.

Kneel, prostrate yourself on the floor, lie down on the altar. This is supposed to be His time to do with as He chooses. Ask Him to touch you; consume you; fill you; purify you; change you in any way He wishes.

...This was... the glory of the LORD. And when I saw it, I fell upon my face, and I heard a voice

Ezek 1:28

So that the priests could not stand... by reason of the cloud: for the glory of the LORD had filled the house of God.

2Chron 5:14

5. Wait till you feel a "release."

Don't be in a hurry. Think back to the last time that you experienced a truly, deep, awesome presence of the Lord. How long did it take? What did you do? How did you respond to the Lord? I know one thing for sure. If you've had that type of experience, it didn't happen in a moment, or with three quick songs. It happened because you were desperate enough to stay in His presence until He was satisfied. That's when you'll be satisfied as well.

God doesn't expect you to carry that entire load you're carrying. He expects you to give it to Him, and let Him carry it for you. But, if you're not in His presence, you can't give it to Him. Take time to be in the Lord's presence, and watch that stress flee. Let Him be God, and you can go back to being you.

Don't tell me you don't have time for this either! I know how busy you are, and so does God. I also know that you don't have enough time to not be in God's presence. Because, that's the only way you'll get it done.

May God's shalom peace rest upon you.